Anaconda is the latest franchise getting the reboot treatment in 2025. Or is it a remake? Or a spiritual sequel of sorts to the original? It’s certainly one of those things, according to the characters, but mainly it’s an inconsistent and unnecessary movie despite the talent involved.
This remake (or reboot, reimagining,etc) stars Paul Rudd and Jack Black as Griff and Doug, two guys who love the original Anaconda from 1997 and have been wanting to make their own version of it. Griff has a career as an unfulfilled actor, while Doug is a wedding videographer. They both see their lives fleeting away and want a chance to chase their impossible dream.
Griff buys the rights to Anaconda and he and Doug take off for the Amazon with two other friends (Steve Zahn and Thandiwe Newton) as they begin working to make the film. They also bring along a snake wrangler with his own anaconda that gets accidentally killed by Griff, and the crew has to try and find another one.
While searching for a new snake, they also have to deal with a woman named Ana (Daniela Melchior) who wants to stop an illegal gold mining operation, but the crew recognizes she might have some skills to be used for their film. Of course, there’s also a problem as a real-life anaconda finds them and threatens to put them on the menu.
I had very few expectations going into this remake of Anaconda, largely because the trailers didn’t look appealing, and for the most part, I was right. Rudd and Black do what they can to hold the movie together, but the script deprives them of any chance to bust loose and let its premise fly largely because it feels restricted by its PG-13 rating. If this were rated R, it would’ve had a ludicrous energy and humor that would’ve fit the talents of its two leads.
Nor is the movie that certain of its tone. First, it’s comedic. Then it tries a few scares, and by the climax it goes into action movie territory. Just when we think it might have some semblance of what it’s trying to be, it changes directions just like a snake.
The movie does have some clever ideas about being meta, but they’re few and far between when those ideas are explored before it settles back into its inconsistent mood and style.
Rudd and Black are likeable, energetic, and charismatic comedic performers, but they never really got me laughing. It’s not really their fault, and while I wouldn’t call this remake a disaster, it’s certainly a missed opportunity.
If these two guys can’t pull off Anaconda, I certainly don’t want to see what Jim Carrey and Adam Sandler could do with a reimagining of Lake Placid. Or even Mike Myers with a reimagining of Arachnophobia. You get the idea.
Grade: C+
(Rated PG-13 for violence/action, strong language, some drug use and suggestive references.)
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